Hello again Adamaniacs! So it's 2:30 in the morning and I think Facebook, YouTube, Yahoo, and Wrestlezone has given me all it has to offer for one night, so I decided to swing by the ol' blog.
Tonight was an interesting night. I had dinner with an ex-girlfriend of mine. Now a lot of you might think right off the bat, 'Uh oh! He must still have a thing for this ex.' OR 'I bet that dinner turned ugly real quick.' Well, you couldn't be more wrong for either thought. This ex of mine and I have always been civilized with each other once we broke up (granted, we still enjoy busting each other's chops about a lot of things) but it was still fun nonetheless. The whole story of how we broke up is kind of a complicated one (and if she ever found this blog, and saw that I posted how, why, when, and where we broke up, she may stab me...just sayin')
Anyways, while I was driving home tonight from dinner, I started to think about some ex-girlfriends and crushes that I've had and what has come out of them. Now, when I say "crushes" I mean, those girls that I "talked" to, or the girls that got away...take your pick on which definition you want to go with. The crushes were never Facebook official, so they weren't real...I live by the book, die by the book.
But I digress, I thought a lot about some of the girls that have come in and out of my life and what I've learned from all of them. Now I'm not going to go all the way back to high school or anything...I'm talking about ones in recent memory that have actually made some kind of impact on my life or have taught me a lesson. I feel like getting some things off my chest, without revealing actual names and how and why things didn't work out with these girls. So let's start with a couple examples...
We'll call the first example, Patti Mayonnaise. Now Patti Mayonnaise was a very quiet and shy girl...one that you wouldn't expect to see with me, mainly because we were opposites. She was shy and I was loud and outgoing. It almost felt like that quote from Bruce Almighty, "behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes." That is kind of how I felt about Patti. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't rolling her eyes in anger or annoyance, but it was almost as if she was rolling her eyes while smiling at whatever I was doing, which is awesome. Smiling and laughing is one of the biggest things that I look for in a girl. She has to be able to put up with me. Me being immature, loud, and retarded, and Patti pulled it off well for being such a shy girl. Although she could tolerate it, it was almost as if she wasn't always willing to actually be there next to me while I was being loud, immature, and retarded. Sometimes she just didn't want to join in on the fun. One of the things that I learned from Patti is that sometimes opposites do in fact attract (and I can't believe I actually posted that stupid cliche) but it's true. Mild and meek can sometimes mesh well with loud and outgoing. They balance each other out. So thanks Patti Mayonnaise for being an understanding and awesome balance for someone who still gets a kick out of Tiny Toon Adventures.
Let's call the next example, Carmen Sandiego. Now going along with smiling and laughing, Carmen Sandiego had a very similar sense of humor to me. Not only did she understand my humor, but she could also dish it out...sometimes even enough to baffle me, which was both sexy and frustrating at the same time. Carmen Sandiego had it all, looks, the body, and a big attitude. And sometimes that attitude took its toll. Carmen Sandiego wasn't really all about the corny and cutesy stuff that I like to portray sometimes. Believe it or not, I'm still all about trying to give chivalry a chance and seeing how far it will take a guy...but Carmen wasn't really a fan. Carmen Sandiego was always a strong and independent girl. She didn't like to be patronized or pandered to. Her problems were her own problems and no one else's. There were a lot of times that Carmen wouldn't fully open up to me which just confused the hell out of me. Relationships are supposed to be about being there for each other, no matter what, right?? Well, Carmen was content on figuring out her own problems her own way...that's where the independence comes into play, remember? I said it about her already. Anyways, Carmen taught me that not all girls out there are looking for a compassionate guy. There are a lot of girls out there who are just as independent with a boyfriend, as those without one. It wasn't anything personal against me, that's just how she was brought up. To be strong. And that's probably one of the main things I learned from Carmen, to be strong with whatever life throws at you.
The next example will be called, Angelica Pickles. Angelica is possibly the most confusing girl that I've ever come into contact with, but at the same time, she was also the girl that I felt the most comfortable around out of all the past ones. I could always be myself around her and be completely honest with her. Which is probably a close 2nd to my importance of smiling and laughing. It was a strange case. We were both completely comfortable with each other and things just seemed to be a lot better when we were around each other, at least on my end. We always had fun, always laughed, and could always pump the breaks and be serious when need be. There were a lot of things that I learned from Angelica (one of which, is that you can't trust people...even your best friends at times). But the main things being, is that sometimes things just aren't meant to be. You can try and try and try, but it doesn't really matter if both sides aren't completely into it. Does that suck? Oh yeah, but it happens. You can talk until you're blue in the face and fight for what you want, and what you think makes you happy, but when it comes down to it, sometimes it's just not enough.
All is fair in love and war...and comedy.
I'm Adam. I'm a stand-up comedian. You're the reader. My dog has an alcohol problem.
