Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mighty Mutant Teenage Morphin Ranger Turtles!

That's right...we all knew that it was going to come down to this at some point. Today's tag team match up is going to be none other than The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers taking on The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!

Cowabunga, bitches. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were probably one of the best crime fighting teams in cartoon history. Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Ra
phael were a corner stone in almost every kid's life. You watched them on television, had the action figures, and was amazed at the first movie they came out with. If you didn't do any of those things, then you were an asshole kid....or just deprived. I remember always having my Turtle toys fight my Power Ranger toys back in the day...and every now and then they had to team up to take on my Power Ranger villian toys and my turtle villian, those were epic times I lived in. So what do the turtles have heading into the battle royal? Well, they are ninjas...enough said. They have ninja weapons...enough said. Oh, and they are giant fucking turtles...enough said. One of the turtles main strengths going into this battle royal is their movies. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 AND 2 were both great movies...(Turtles 3, where they go back in time...not so much, AND THEN there was the new computer animated Turtles TMNT, which wasn't too bad) but for the most part, Turtles 1 and 2 were awesome. Especially Turtles 2, I mean, think about got the secret of the ooze, Vanilla Ice singing about the turtles, AND Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash playing the role of Super Shredder (IMDB that, it's true). The turtles are those rare occassions where their first movie doesn't suck balls. I have a theory that when a television show gets its first movie, the show ends up sucking after the movie. Look at all the other victims that have fallen to this, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Pokemon, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, among many others...but that's for another blog at another time. Even though we shouldn't take villians into account for this battle royal, Shredder was a pretty solid villian. I mean, he was scary looking AND he could back it up...even if he did have the Foot clan. I think the turtles might a lot more strengths than downfalls. Leonardo and Raphael always had that underlying tension with each other, but when it came down to it, they worked great as a team...Raphael better get his head out of his ass if he wants to take down the Rangers with his totally awesome bros. But other than that, these turtles are going strong in this battle royal.

It's morphin tim
e!! The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are going to weigh in...and I'm talking about JUST the Rangers we grew up on. None of this Hydro Dino Thunder Space Rangers...all that started happening once they got their first movie, which follows my theory. Anyways, the Power Rangers were right up there with the turtles taking on monster after monster. These Rangers were also pretty much ninjas AND they had pretty cool weapons...not ninja weapons though, shit like axes, swords, bow and arrows, and guns...wait, what!? So the Power Rangers have a decent amount of strengths heading into this as well. First of all, every boy, EVERY boy, thought AND knew, that the Pink Ranger was hott. Though it may not be a significant part to this battle royal, Kimberly still has my heart. The Rangers were just one of those shows that you couldn't wait to watch. It was just an awesome show. And NOW, ABC (not even ABC Family, regular ABC) has decided, for some reason, to put The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on Saturday mornings.....I salute you ABC for being nostalgic and truley important time when Saturday morning cartoons don't exist. The Power Ranger movie was amazing...I mean, c'mon. You have all the things you loved about the show in the movie AND THEN just random people and things you never thought you'd see in the show...Ivan Ooze, that pig bad guy, and Zordon not being a giant head. So where are the Rangers' downfalls? Well, the blue ranger sucked ass...that's for damn sure. And if the Blue Ranger was ever your favorite Power Ranger as a kid, well, then, you are probably gay. At least the show realized that they were being a little racist when they made Trini, the Asian girl, the Yellow Ranger and Zack, the black guy, the Black Ranger. How did they fix that? Welp, when the movie came out they simply just had the black girl be the Yellow Ranger and the Asian guy the Black Ranger. Problem solved. And then there's the all mighty Green Ranger. The Green Ranger was who everyone wanted to be...plain and simple. Everyone wanted that Dragon Dagger, and why wouldn't you?! It was a dagger that played music! Wasn't really any way to play with it other than annoy your parents by playing the same song over and over and over. I think they only way that the Rangers can beat the Turtles in this battle royal is if they have the Green Ranger and the White Ranger in the same room at the same time....if would happen, all the turtles' heads would explode....and probably the Power Ranger's too. So The Green and White Ranger would end up being the winners. But anyways, since we took villians into account for the Turtles, let's do it for the Rangers. Rita Repulsa and Lord Zed...two awesome villians...not to mention you had all Rita's henchmen, like Goldar, who shouldn't have been a bitch in the Power Ranger movie, and who could forget The Putties. The downfalls for the Rangers you may ask? Well, anytime they get hit by someone, sparks fly off of their that's gotta hurt. And the other downfall for the team...having the Blue Ranger as a part of the team.

So what team is gonna come out on top? The teenage mutants? The mighty morphins? They both had awesome toys, awesome movies, awesome television shows. So, for the first time thus far in the battle royal, this match ends in a draw.