Well, April has come and passed and that means that The Nostalgic Battle Royal is over. I gotta admit, I had a lot more ideas for it and wanted to actually blog about it pretty much every day...which I think it's good that I didn't do it every day or every other day, because then I had the chance to let you down. Disappoint you. Something that this country and your life is going to be filled with. Disappointment. Now granted, I'm not saying that you're going to go out and drink yourself into oblivion because I didn't keep updating my blog. But, there are going to be a lot more important things in this life that you look forward to, excite you, and you love that just isn't going to satisfy you and make you happy. Where is this blog comin' from? I dunno.
Maybe it's the fact that I am a guy that have lived by the rules my entire life. I've done what I was supposed to up until this point in my life. I studied for tests, I did homework, I was polite, respected my elders...and pretty much an entire list of good deeds/proper etiquette/playing by the rules that I don't feel like typing out. So where does that lead me? Well, it leads me to decent grades and graduating high school. Which leads me to going to college.
College. A word that means debt. And not just debt financial wise, it's also a knowledge and health debt. Cause guess what? A lot of the things in college that are taught, you don't need...ever, ever ever ever. High school was the same way. You were taught things that you would never need, unless of course you decided to pursue that particular field. But who the fuck wants to pursue a job where you need to determine X and the cotangent? Who wants to do something with physics? Who wants to dissect a cat on a day to day basis? Hey...wait, maybe you do want to do those things later in life. So go for it. But guess what? You're just going to be disappointed. Everyone that you come into contact with makes college out to be the most important thing in life. Once you go to college, ALL your dreams are going to come true. You're going to wake up every day and a guy is going to hand you a bag of money and a balloon. It's all bullshit. College is an illusion, plain and simple. It's a place where you go to learn more about yourself and who you are as a person. So why not try and take some money out of it and portray the illusion that you're going to actually gain knowledge while on that journey of finding out who you are?
Don't get me wrong, college was some of the best years of my life. I lived in a great house, with some best friends that I consider my brothers (and sister) to this day. I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about other people too. But it amazes me that college was put on this pedestal and it hasn't gotten me anything. If you've seen my act, you know that I couldn't get a job at Spencer's. How is that possible? I have a degree. I've done what society has told me to do to become, what I thought, was a better person. I have a degree. I'm set for life. How can't I work at a part-time job? Are you kidding me?? That should be my trump card. But it isn't. No one gives a fuck about you in this world and what you've done or accomplished.
Which leads to disappointment. Something that is going to be around for years and years. Guess what? You're in a relationship right now, you're happy as ever. What's gonna come out of it in the end? Disappointment. You applied for this really important job and you're just praying that you get it. You ain't gonna get it. Disappointment is all over the place. No matter what you try and accomplish in life, it's never enough. Ever. Because life isn't fair.
Example. I had a video production class. There were a lot of projects due and there was a lot of work to do in the class. I did it, on time. Maybe mediocre work, but it was still done and on time. There was a kid in the back of the room, that barely, if ever, came to class. And when he did come to class, he slept the entire time. He never knew when projects were due. The only time he knew projects were due, is when the professor would say, "Ok, pass in your projects." To which this kid would respond, "Oh fuck, something is due today?" Needless to say, he didn't finish the class...or even school. But guess what. He's doing just fine in life. In fact, he's doing better than me and a lot of other people that I know that have graduated. He's touring the country right now with a band, and has even performed for troops over seas. Good for him, that's awesome. But, if there's one thing that this example can prove, it's that life isn't fair. Get used to it now. Always expect disappointment to come up whenever it can. No matter what you do, it's not going to be enough.
You've been lied to for years about what's best for you. Santa Claus is watching you, so you better be good. Your face will stick that way if you keep making that face. You need to go to college. I'll never hurt you. I love you. There's a lot of lies out there with disappointment. So the point is, do whatever you want.
If you don't agree with me, to some degree (no pun intended) then fuck you. You've probably gotten what you want thus far out of life, and for that, I congratulate you. But whatever you did to get there and get what you want, lie, cheat, steal, then I'm going to start taking some lessons from you, because nice guys finish last. No one really wants to see the good guy win. The bad guy is the one that is always more animated, more entertaining, and just all around cooler. Maybe I need to be an anti-hero. I dunno.
Debt. Lies. Disappointment. Get used to them.
I'm Adam. I'm a stand-up comedian. You're the reader. My dog has an alcohol problem.
